The Way of the King

Sometimes I find myself working with clients who have been promoted into management positions without much prior training in leadership. It can be extremely challenging taking charge of a group of people, often highly qualified and skilled, and getting them to do the job that needs to be done. I have seen several highly competent people reduced to breakdown by the stresses involved.

Part of the problem is finding a leadership style that works. At one extreme would be an autocratic style, the "way of the dictator", but when the people being led are professionals who are used to giving orders (e.g. teachers) or working independently (e.g. scientists) then this approach tends to be unsustainable. Often the new manager adopts a pleasing, placatory approach to their subordinates, a weak management style which can result in the manager doing most of the work and suffering the resulting burnout. We could call this the "way of the doormat". And then there is management by committee - sitting around in those dreadful meetings that never achieve anything.

When coaching new managers who are still finding their leadership feet I often recommend an approach which steers a middle way between committee, doormat and dictator. I call it the "way of the King", as it derives from stories of the legendary Arthur and his Round Table. The Round Table was a forum for making decisions. It was democratic in the sense that each participant would have an equal right to speak on the issue being discussed, and the King would listen carefully to each opinion in turn. However there was no doubt that the King was in charge, and having heard what everyone at the table had to say he would make his decision. From that point on the group would rally behind the course that the King had chosen. No doubt some would be disappointed that their view had not prevailed, but they would at least know that their opinion had been heard and taken seriously.

It is an approach which I use when being dominant, and I commend it to others who are making steps towards becoming a Dom. In my experience most submissives are looking for strong leadership from their Dom, but not dictatorial bullying. They want to be given firm guidance and to be told what to do at times, but do not appreciate the arbitrary abuse of power. In my opinion it is worth taking the time to listen to a sub's views and opinions, but in the end you should always make your own decision.